December 2016
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Official Proclamation: These Are The Best Tweets Of 2016
Ok, so 2016 wasn’t the greatest, but fear not! 2017 is almost here and it’s not like it could be any wor- Ok, here are some very funny tweets in no particular order. In an alternate universe there is only one movie about falling in love, but thousands about swapping faces with John Travolta. — […] More
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Inspiring: This Guy Delivers Pizza, But Doesn’t Smoke Weed!
Dave Simpson, a 26 year old from Upstate New York, has just broken a decades old tradition. Simpson, who was recently laid off from a job in retail, decided to deliver pizzas while he “figured things out”. There’s just one caveat: Dave doesn’t constantly smoke weed. For years, it has been a widely accepted truth that all […] More
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Your Buddy Has Obviously Signed Up For One Of Those Clothing Subscriptions
Lovingly referred to as “Sweatshirt Dave” by his closest friends, David Sanders has been looking a bit different lately. His best friend Kevin noticed the change almost immediately. “Plaid shirts? Cardigan sweaters? Corduroy pants? I knew something was going on.” Something was indeed going on: Monthly deliveries of clothing from one of those online subscription […] More
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Taking The Elf Off The Shelf: What Santa’s Little Snitch Can Do For You
Elf on the Shelf is a popular plush toy that sits on your mantle, “watching” your kids. Children know that they need to be on their best behavior, because the elf reports directly to Santa. Now you can utilize this powerful Orwellian tool in other aspects of your life! Here are some alternate uses for […] More
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This Woman Is “Officially Done With 2016”
With more than two weeks left in 2016, one woman has had enough. 32 year old Sarah Graham today has officially announced that she is “done with 2016”. “I’ve had it. Seriously. I am done with this year.” Initially brushed off as a joke, those close to Sarah began having serious concerns when they received […] More
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Brand New Essential Oils You Didn’t Even Know You Needed
For thousands of years, people around the world have used the power of essential oils to achieve emotional, physical, and spiritual wellness. Well put away that Lavender and throw that Thieves oil on the fucking ground, because these are the all new essentials oils dropping in 2017. Knowing When To Shut Up® What could be […] More
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The Price Is Wrong: Contestant Calls Bullshit On “Actual Retail Price”
Dale Wimbley waited his entire life for a chance to grace the stage of The Price is Right. Years of carefully comparing prices and bargain shopping has made Dale something of a “Price Expert”. However one faithful day, Dale’s dream of appearing on the Price is Right quickly turned into a nightmare. After waiting in […] More
