Politics
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Trump Hires 90’s Music Icon Shaggy As New Communications Director
In an attempt to deflect negative criticism as well as answer to some very serious allegations, President Trump has hired 90’s pop icon Shaggy as his new Communications Director. Best known for his… uh.. it’s not like reggae or rap really, but it’s.. whatever. You know, Shaggy. Look I’m not really into writing this now […] More
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President Trump Tries To Do His Best Alec Baldwin Impression
Taking his feud with Alec Baldwin to new levels, President Donald Trump today came out for a rare personal appearance in order to roast the actor who portrays him on SNL. “Alec Baldwin’s poor impression of me is not great. I am great, so I know great.” said Trump. The President went on to ask […] More
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Sean Spicer Asks Press Conference To Hold Him Instead
Things took an awkward turn at the White House briefing this morning when press secretary Sean Spicer finally broke down in tears. After his first 100 days as the face of the Trump administration, Spicer looked as though he is beginning to feel the full weight of the job. “I’ve been spinning so many stories that I’m actually dizzy.” said Spicer. […] More
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Trump Organization Releases New Cologne: Hot Garbage
From the fairways of southern Florida to the halls of the Whitehouse, now you too an smell just like a Trump. Hot Garbage, the new scent from Trump International captures the essence of the entire Trump family in one, nauseating aroma. Unbutton your sport coat and bask in the medley of Aqua Velva and Drakkar Noir mixed with a […] More
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President Trump Announces Mandatory Dial-Up Internet Access To Slow Criticism
In yet another attempt to quell the ongoing criticism of his actions as President, Donald Trump has announced his latest measure to quiet the storm of backlash: Dial-up Internet. As of Friday, All Americans will be mailed a 3.5″ floppy disk with setup instructions for what Trump is Calling “America Online”. All citizens will need to […] More
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Gargamel Announces Political Ambitions, Americans Too Tired To Care
Fictional cartoon villain Gargamel has announced his plans to seek a soon to be open State Senate seat in Upstate New York. An evil wizard and the sworn enemy of the Smurfs, Gargamel has expressed serious interest in politics since watching Donald Trump win the presidency of the United States. According to a top aide, the […] More
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Happening Now: Trump Announces New Cabinet
With rumors and speculation running wild, President-Elect Donald Trump has finally announced his new cabinet. “It gives me great pleasure to announce I have selected this beautiful, narrow credenza featuring iron scroll details.” The pick comes as a shock to both the media, as well as those close to Trump. Advisor Kelly Anne Conway says while […] More
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Man Wears Trump Hat Ironically, Turns Disastrous
It was an unseasonably warm October night. John Sculder and his friends were on their way out to a grab a few beers. Known for being a “class clown” back in high school, John thought the “TRUMP” hat that he purchased ironically at a local gas station would get a big laugh. Boy was he wrong. […] More
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Best of the Web: The 2016 Presidential Debate… In Tweets!
The first of three presidential debates is now over. The podiums are packed up, the chairs all stacked, and best of all there are a ton of funny tweets to go through. According to CNBC, Twitter users mentioned Trump nearly two times for every time Hillary Clinton was mentioned. Twitter also said this was the most tweeted debate ever. […] More
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Election 2016: Write-In Candidates who Deserve Your Vote
If you’re like most people, you’re tired of all the same old candidates. The same old rhetoric. The same old campaign promises. The same old toupees and spray tans. We thought we’d throw together a list of names that would be more than qualified to be President of the United States. The only thing they […] More
