Your Buddy Has Obviously Signed Up For One Of Those Clothing Subscriptions

He doesn’t dress like this. Like, at all.

Lovingly referred to as “Sweatshirt Dave” by his closest friends, David Sanders has been looking a bit different lately.

His best friend Kevin noticed the change almost immediately.

“Plaid shirts? Cardigan sweaters? Corduroy pants? I knew something was going on.”

Something was indeed going on: Monthly deliveries of clothing from one of those online subscription services.

“I wasn’t sure until he sat down one day and I saw him wearing a pair of argyle socks. I remember thinking ‘that’s not right’. That’s not Sweatshirt Dave.”

Having seen the ads on Facebook one too many times, Dave had signed up for a $60/month package. After hooking up with what he called a “solid seven” at the bar while wearing the first outfit, Dave said he was sold.

While his first package was an entire outfit, Dave said things gradually went down hill.

“By month four, all I got was a pair of cheap sunglasses and a t-shirt. Meanwhile they were running ads on Facebook giving new sign ups like 5x the shit I got originally. It kind of feels like a pyramid scheme.”

We contacted the clothing site and asked about Dave’s suspicions.

“Oh totally. That’s how we keep getting new customers.” responded the company CEO. “We figured people already knew that. Wait, do they not? LOL.”

As for Dave, he says he will still continue to receive the packages.

“They’re bound to send like one good item again, right? Right?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *