RV Driving Madman Wins Race… And Our Hearts

Daytona – As the checkered flags came down, a new champion was crowned at Daytona on Sunday.

Newcomer and complete unknown, Dave Cactus, came from nowhere to clinch the win in what the other racers are calling “inspiring but still a little fucked up.”

NASCAR’s Martin Truex Jr. seemed to have a clear victory in sight when Cactus, a Colorado native on vacation with his family, burst onto the track in an RV after taking a wrong turn trying to locate an area Denny’s Restaurant.

Truex Jr., along with every other racer, pulled aside in shock and awe of this brave yet still very hungry man.

“It felt like we were watching The Matrix. There’s no way an RV should be able to go 200mph around a track, but it’s like he could see every move.” said Truex.

Other drivers were initially upset, but after hearing the heartwarming story of Cactus’ heroic search for breakfast at lunchtime, their hearts became warm as hell.

Asked for comment, Cactus said he was just doing what he had to do.

“I knew I had taken a wrong turn, but what was I going to do? Stop? Ask for directions? No thanks.”

Cactus not only claimed victory on the track, but was also given a police escort to the nearest Denny’s along with a $25 gift certificate.

“That was probably the best part for me personally. The win was sweet, but not as sweet as eating pancakes at 2pm.” added Cactus.

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